Day Nineteen: Happiness is the Love of a Child

It is interesting to me that my favorite novel experiences have been the ones that I could never plan for or predict.  Some days I wake up with a clear image in my head of how I will seek out my novelty for the day.  Other days, I wake up foggy headed and clueless.  Today was definitely the latter!  

Simply put, today I felt exhausted.  Perhaps the effort to implement the Great Moose Hunt the day before had worn me out...  Or maybe I had fulfilled my "seeking quota" the day before...  Or perhaps it was the unexpected aftereffect of having my son chant "chocolate moose" repeatedly and without pause from that time forward...  And, probably, the intense sleep deprivation I was experiencing courtesy of my children's completely unsynchronized sleeping patterns from the previous night was no small part of the equation.  Regardless of the reason, yesterday I was a seeker.  Today, I am a slacker!  As a result, I was REALLY hoping that novelty would find me instead of the other way around.  

As it turns out, I was in luck!  Not only did novelty find me, but I can honestly say that it was the BEST NOVEL EXPERIENCE EVER!  Today, I had the good fortune of being able to lie down and nap with my son!  (In case you were wondering, NO, that is NOT the novel experience of the day.  But it was pretty darn unusual and awesome, all the same!)  As my toddler drifted off to sleep in my arms, he gently stroked my cheek and, completely out of the blue said,  "I Love you Mum-Mum."   It took a moment to register and then I was completely overwhelmed  by the incredible loveliness of the moment.  This was the first time my child spontaneously told me that he loved me and it was one of the sweetest moments of my life.  My son stroked my hair gently, as I lay there overflowing with love for my sweet baby boy.  

It was at that moment that he grabbed a clump of my hair and pulled....  hard!  While I recovered from the shock, he pulled himself up so that he could look me straight in the eyes and said, "Eat Mum-Mum's nose?" As I roused myself from my sleepy, love-drunk state and considered how to respond to this unusual request, my son opened his mouth as wide as he could and lowered his face to within a millimeter of my own.  I had to wrestle him off of me while he laughed at my efforts to protect myself.  Yup...  He's going to be two!  

Regardless of how things ended, I don't know if words can adequately express what it's like to have a child of your own state their love for you for the first time.  Sure, I had told him that I loved him countless times before this and had prompted and coached him to say it in return, but this was fully and completely initiated by him.

So while some of the novel experiences I have might be more unique, or more exciting, I can't imagine that any of the experiences I have, past or in the future, could ever be as meaningful as the one that I had today.  I am reminded once again that the most important thing we have in this life, and our most important source of happiness is love and our relationships to one another.  Add a dose of novelty, a dash of mindfulness and a whole lot of cuteness and you have the equation for one of the best moments of your life!

Day Fifteen: Subpoenas and Audits and Forms, Oh My!

Well, I may be on maternity leave in theory but I've had a string of bad luck when it comes to things related to my business popping up that need my immediate response and attention.  I joke that I only get subpoenaed when I'm pregnant or on maternity leave...  But that's not really a joke.  I really HAVE only been subpoenaed for child custody cases twice:  Once when they wanted me to testify in court after having finished up at work, fully 9 months pregnant and ready to pop; and the other time, (now), when I have just given birth. Let me tell you, finding an outfit and shoes suitable for court in either of these conditions has been no small feat!  

This maternity "leave" I have been doubly lucky as the same week that I was spending hours talking with lawyers by phone, I also got notice of being audited by an insurance billing agency, (who was aware that I was on maternity leave),  and was given a 5 day response window!  Thanks, guys!  And then, when I thought my work-life couldn't become any more invasive, I received a mountain of paperwork from another agency that needed to be filled out now.  So, needless to say, I've had some things to deal with lately other than my children and this experiment!  And, I will admit, I have had some self-pitying, chocolate eating moments as a result...

The upside to this, however, is that I actually got to leave the house today without any children in tow!  In fact, I was able to be completely alone.  There was not another soul in my car with me!  So with child-inappropriate music blaring at a near-deafening volume, I drove away from my house as a completely separate entity from my children, husband and dog for the first time in nearly two months!  I was free!  This was practically a novel experience in and of itself!

After completing the work that needed to be done at my office, I sat down on my comfy couch, took a deep breath, and stared off into space.  Prior to this, I had never really understood what was meant when people described silence as "deafening."  However, at that moment my ears were literally ringing with quiet.  It was quite lovely, actually!  Sensing an opportunity for novelty, I looked around my office to see what I could find to complete today's task and found...

NOTHING!  It appears that every book, drawer, and basket is filled with things that I have used on multiple occasions.  I clearly have spent too much time in my office!  As I was about to cry Uncle and head back into the fray, I remembered an exercise that my friend Beth, (of coconut cheesecake with passion fruit glaze fame), had taken part in at a training at Kripalu.  

Now I have no idea who taught her this exercise, or if it can be found in a book somewhere, so my apologies about not giving the proper people credit.  However, when she described this simple but profound exercise to me I had filed it away in my brain so that I could try it during my next quiet moment...  That filing happened, oh, like, a year ago...  And that anticipated moment had finally arrived!

The exercise is simple, really:  

1.  Take a piece of paper and list the activities you take part in in a typical day in your life.  

2.  Next to each activity mark whether it is self-nurturing/energizing, neutral or draining.  

3.  Review and contemplate.

Despite the fact that I've been bemoaning having to work during my maternity leave, this exercise shed some light on how good my life actually is right now.  The vast majority of my time is spent taking part in activities that are self-nurturing, energizing, or neutral.  And, when draining activities happen, often they would actually be neutral or even enjoyable if it weren't for the fact that I was trying to multitask.  Like, for instance, when I'm trying to start a load of laundry while keeping an eye on my toddler so that he doesn't try to hit his sister with his stuffed Elmo.  Or, when I'm trying to dress Gracie while Liam is trying to rip pages out of his bedtime anthology.  So, the take home message from this activity - if I can do it mindfully, without trying to do other things at the same time, almost anything I have to do in my day-to-day maternity leave life can feel rewarding rather than draining.  (I say this as I type this blog while rocking my infant to sleep in her bassinet with my foot...  But I digress!) 

And what about all of these out of the ordinary work-related activities that take me away from spending this precious time with my kids?  Trying to motivate a toddler day in and day out has taught me that attitude is everything.  If you are enthusiastic and make it fun, he will be more than thrilled to do any little chore you give to him and he will put his all into savoring the experience.  In fact, he will run back to me chanting "more" and will be disappointed if I can't find something else for him to do!  It's when we tell ourselves that something is unpleasant that it actually becomes that way!  So, I guess, my attitude has kind of sucked!

I was once told that looking at your stressors as challenges to be faced was one of three things that people who manage their stress well do. In a way, this experiment allows me the venue to make things that I would normally dread or think of as unpleasant seem more like a fun challenge.  For instance, if I actually end up having to testify in person in court, (which I got out of at the last minute last time around.  No one wanted the therapist to go into labor on the stand!), that will certainly count as a novel experience.  And I find that thinking of this as a novel experience to add to my life list makes me feel more curious than anxious.   So looking at testifying within the context of this novelty embracing experiment makes it seem a bit, well, fun?!  Weird, I know!  But I find that as I get more and more in the habit of orienting my life toward seeking novelty, even things I'm afraid of seem less terrible.  I don't think I'll be jumping out of an airplane anytime soon...  but you never know!     

Day Twelve: Wax Paper Place Mat

As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I am the proud momma of an almost two-year-old son.  From the time he was born, food has had a special focus in his life.  You see, he was 9 lbs 3 oz when he was born and, after 23 hours of labor he suffered from low blood sugar at birth.  He was literally born hungry!  And for most of the past two years this hasn't changed!

When he was first introduced to solid foods at six months of age, he was beyond thrilled.  Rice cereal evolved to sweet potatoes.  Sweet potatoes evolved to bananas.  And before we knew it, our little angel was eating whatever we were having for dinner...  and using his fork, spoon and bowl like a pro.  We were so proud!

But then, a couple of months ago, it happened...  My son suddenly discovered the fun he could have with his utensils and foodstuffs and the messes began.  At first, this was manageable as he was confined to his high chair and our "morbidly obese" dog was happy to clean up any messes that might stray from his tray.  However, one day he decided he wanted to join us at the table and we knew it was time to graduate him to a booster seat.  He was so proud that he had to show everyone who came through the door his new spot of honor at the table.

Proud in his big boy seat!

With this change has come a period of adjustment.  Unfortunately, his manners have continued to devolve and our table linens have paid the price.  First, we decided that it was prudent to lose the table cloth, as we were having to wash them daily in the wake of his messes.  Then, last week, we realized that the cloth place mats that have served us well for many moons were becoming more work than they were helpful.  So we agreed that it was time to buy laminated, kid-friendly place mats to attempt to protect our now bare tabletop.

Like many tasks at my household, buying place mats got lost in the day to day chaos of my life.  So, tonight, as I watched my son "eat like a piggy" in true A Christmas Story form I was inspired to take this on as my novel experience for the day.

A quick Internet search led me to the perfect project:  Wax paper place mats.  I have wax paper!  I have an iron!  And we definitely have broken crayons!

Well...  Maybe not!  Come to find out my husband, who enjoys getting rid of things more than anyone I've ever met, had just disposed of all of the broken crayons in our household!  It was clear that I was going to have to improvise.  Thankfully, I am the exact opposite of my husband.  Perhaps you had gathered that when I mentioned in a previous post that I owned a VHS tape of a hula workout?  I tend to save things for a rainy day, and this has come in quite handy as I embark on this experiment.  A quick trip to my basement did not disappoint and I emerged with shiny blue tinsel.  My son was in awe and I knew that I had found a winner!

After he went to bed, I cut out  my wax paper, ironed the tinsel in between two sheets and presto!  

One very flimsy place mat was created.

This is clearly a temporary solution to our problem.  I give it exactly one meal before my son rips my place mat  to shreds...  However, I have amused myself with my craftiness and novelty for yet another day!  The adventure continues!