Day Thirty-Seven: The Novel Experience Challenge is Born!

Have I told you lately, dear reader, how grateful I am for you and your support?  I don't suppose that I have!  But please know that I know you are there and that I am truly appreciative of all of the people who have stopped by to read this blog and/or joined the fun on my Facebook page.  You guys rock!

One of my favorite positive psych books and my sentiment for today!

Since starting this blog a little over a month ago, I've had a surprisingly large amount of traffic from all corners of the world!  I've also had some wonderful experiences, some life altering, some not, but all of them completely novel.  However, the best part of this experiment has been the interactions I've had with the people who have taken the time from their busy schedules to read about what I'm doing.  I've received emails and comments, both here and through my Facebook page, that shared experiences, thoughts, suggestions, requests, impressions, opinions and support.  I've received text messages, emails and phone calls from friends with novel experience suggestions and offers to teach or join.  And, best of all, I've been able to share many of the experiences I've had with my loved ones.  

The relational aspect of this experiment is one of the many surprise side effects I have noticed so far.  Initially, I struggled with how self-indulgent blogging about my experiences seemed.  As a mother and psychotherapist, I spend the vast majority of my time nurturing and motivating other people to grow and increase their levels of  happiness.  However, my initial motivations for starting this experiment were all about me!   My relatively recent transition to motherhood and the addition of a new baby; the associated loss of some of the old ways that I had met my need for novelty; feeling directionless and lost after the attainment of my lifelong career goals and needing something more; a sense that I was no longer living life to the fullest; and having a birthday that triggered the beginning stages of a midlife crisis were all factors that culminated in the creation of  The Novel Experience Experiment.  However, I soon realized that the influx of novelty I was experiencing was resulting in an increase in my level of happiness, energy, enthusiasm, self-confidence, and sense of youthfulness while decreasing my levels of stress and anxiety.  By sharing my experiences, I could inspire others to do the same with (hopefully), similar results!  This put me on much more comfortable and familiar ground.

As the focus of this experiment broadened from being all about me to the possibility of inspiring and helping others to thrive, my thoughts turned to how I could encourage and include my readers in this experience.  In this vein, I added instructions and links for how people could try each of my novel experiences for themselves, posted discussions on my Facebook page, and created the Readers page on this blog to encourage everyone to share their own experiences with novelty.  Then, shortly after midnight last night, inspiration struck and The Novel Experience Challenge was born!  I published the page, posted a link on Facebook and went to bed.

Then I woke up...  Checked my email....  And found that people had actually signed on to the Challenge!  I was thrilled!  And a little overwhelmed!  As is often my habit, I put the cart before the horse and jumped in with both feet before I had worked out all of the details.  So today's novel experience was inspired by my motivation to remedy my lack of preparations.  Today, I developed and implemented a completely voluntary, pseudo-scientific experiment for the Novel Experience Challenge by creating pre and post-tests on SurveyMonkey.com.  You can view the pre-test here...  and, while you're there, feel free to take the pre-test and officially start the challenge!   Or skip the pre-test and start the challenge!  Or modify everything and create your own novelty challenge to fit within the confines of your life!  Regardless of how you challenge yourself, I'm very curious about how increasing the amount of novelty in your life might affect the way you feel!  

In conclusion, of the many lessons this experiment has taught me so far, the one that has rung the truest is that a novel experience shared with another person, both in real time and through writing, enhances both the experience and the relationship.  Facing a challenge, learning a skill, and/or laughing, with another person is a powerful bonding exercise!  So I would urge you to grab a partner, child or friend and let the novelty seeking begin!

Day Twenty-One: Apparently Not Hibachi, After All!

I've learned an important lesson tonight, dear readers, that I would like to share with you.  Sometimes, doing the research about a novel experience AFTER you've already experienced it can create some surprises!  So tonight, as I was sitting down at my computer preparing to write about the novel experience of eating at a Japanese Hibachi Restaurant I discovered that I had actually dined at a Japanese TEPPANYAKI restaurant!  Go figure!  Clearly, I had NO IDEA what it was I was actually doing!  (Though I am a little bit pleased with myself for, at the very least, knowing the country of origin of the food!)

So, on that note, today's novel experience was eating at a TEPPANYAKI restaurant!  Teppanyaki, (which should not be confused with its close cousin, Hibachi), is a Japanese method of grilling food on an open, flat iron griddle.  My family and I arrived at the restaurant ready to be entertained.  You see, while the food is actually quite amazing, it is the act and performance of cooking said food that is the true draw of the restaurant.  While people, often times strangers from multiple parties, share a U-Shaped table that surrounds a grill, the chef puts on a performance complete with fire and flying knives.  At least, that's what I hear from my childless friends...  

That is correct, dear readers...  This is the VERY FIRST TIME a hostess has looked at my family, with the rambunctious, squirming toddler, multiple bags, and the newborn in the carrier and has decided that it is preferable to sit us in the BAR, rather than the dining room.  So, there you have the true novelty of the evening!  I suppose there's probably some liability in sitting two children who lack the decision making ability to keep themselves safe within proximity of a hot grill, leaping flames, and knives.  But despite this set back, I remained undeterred in my quest to experience true teppanyaki...

After drinks were ordered...

And umbrellas were destroyed...

I used the excuse of washing my son's hands to meander stealth-like into the dining room to catch the show!  From a very safe distance, my son and I watched with glee as the chef poured sake on the grill, causing flames to leap several feet into the air.  Knives were flipped, utensils were banged...  Really, it was a toddler's dream meal!  We lingered for much longer than was necessary before we skulked back to our boring, toddler-safe seating area.

The rest of our meal was fabulous, if uneventful.  Liam insisted on eating with his chopsticks, like his Mama and, with the exception of one bite of rice that he mashed into the wood, was thoroughly unsuccessful.

And, to absolutely ensure a novel experience due to the seating disappointment, we ordered red bean ice cream tempura for a shared family dessert.  If you've never tired Japanese pastries or other desserts made from red bean, DO!  These little red beans are mashed into a paste that is fabulously sweet and delicious, and I found that they translate into a very tasty ice cream flavor.  (Did you hear that, Ben and Jerry?!)

So while one of my biggest concerns about taking on this experiment was that it might somehow negatively impact my time with my children, I've found instead that it has been to their benefit in many unexpected ways.  Not only is Mama happier and more excited about life than she was at the beginning of this project, (and I'm a big believer that if Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy!), but my children are sharing in many of the experiences with me.  Knives and fire aside, my son got to see and take apart an umbrella, had Miso Soup with the big spoon, witnessed the use of and tried to eat with chop sticks, experienced food and traditions from a different culture, and has experienced red bean yumminess prior to the age of two!  It blows my mind to think of all the neural connections he just created in his rapidly developing little brain!

So, while I will admit that there is a part of me that regrets trying to do this novel experience with children in tow, overall the benefits of their inclusion outweigh the negatives.  But know that I will certainly be back to experience teppanyaki sans children so that we can have a front row seat to the show!

Day Eight: Basic Wiring for Dummies...

Remember, back during the snowstorm when I had to give up on a project due to complete ineptitude?  Well, today was the day to redeem myself!  But first, let's travel back a few days so that I can give you the sad details of the origin of this novel experience.

My husband and I had purchased a programmable thermostat to be installed in our bedroom quite a few months ago and it has sat, untouched since the day we purchased it.  The packaging clearly states that it is a do-it-yourself, 15 minute installation so I decided that since I was snowed in it would be a perfect novel experience.  An incredibly novel experience, actually!  You see, dear reader, my husband and I, are not do-it-yourself people.  We are "pick up the phone and call one of our fathers" people.  In fact, we actually paid an electrician to install a nearly identical thermostat downstairs.  Pathetic, I know!  But sadly, true...

So on that snowy day, I opened the packaging and confidently pulled out the instructions.  The first step was to turn off the power to the heat source.  And with that, I was stymied...  A quick phone call to my father could have made this a surmountable challenge.  However, the bigger problem was that the directions also called for this strange tool that we do not own.  This foreign tool is called a drill.  Maybe some of you have heard of it?  Needless to say, the thermostat was not installed and I realized that I would need a much greater level of support than the directions could give me. 

So fast forward to today...  Since the birth of my son, my father has come over one day a week to visit and provide childcare when I am working.  So following the failed snowstorm attempt, I had asked my father to come prepared to show me how to install a programmable thermostat.  My father, toolbox in hand, examined the thermostat and started to get to work.  As I reminded him that I would like to do it myself with his supervision, his first response to me was, "Oh, you don't have to do that.  I can just install it."  Clearly this is the result of YEARS of training on my part! 

Of course, I insisted that I wanted to learn, so my father, myself, and my two children piled into my bedroom and got to work.  The first step, of course, was to remove the existing, archaic thermostat to make room for this high tech wonder.  I was a master with the screwdriver here, if I do say so myself.  However, I did make a gruesome discovery:  there's MERCURY in a traditional thermostat.  That coupled with the LEAD solder, ice pick, and razor cutting devices in my father's toolbox made this a HORRIBLE project to do with a curious, attention seeking two-year-old.  Again, before DHHS is called, the top priority of both my father and myself was keeping the kidlings safe.  But, geesh!  I had no idea that installing a thermostat could bring with it such risk!

But I digress...  I will spare you the boring details, but I did, in fact manage to successfully wire, attach, and program the new thermostat which is now functioning beautifully in our bedroom.  And I felt a little bit redeemed when my father, who has installed several similar thermostats in his own house and actually has specific training in this kind of stuff, stumbled over a few of the instructions in the manual and said that the "average person" would have trouble understanding the directions. And, FYI thermostat people, it took us over an hour... 

In my most favorite psychology book, Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman, one of his main conclusions is that when we engage in activities that use our "signature strengths" we feel good.  (To identify what your signature strengths are please consider visiting his website and taking some of his top notch, research based assessments!) 

Seligman's belief is that when we use our signature strengths we can access a state that his colleague Mihaly Csikszenthmihalyi, (trying saying that one ten times fast!), has coined as "flow."  I think it is safe to say that whatever signature strengths are involved in installing a thermostat, I don't have them.  There was nothing "flow-like" in this experience for me.  Frankly, I found this project tiring and stressful while taking part in it. 

That being said, I do feel good about my success with this project because it was so far out of my comfort zone.  They say, (or, rather, I tell my clients), that self-confidence is built by successfully managing challenges.  So, what this novel experience lacked in flow, it made up for by broadening my horizons and improving my self-confidence.  And that, dear readers, makes this particular novel experience a rousing success!