Reflections on a Year Plus of Novelty: Part ONE!

So, Dear Readers, I am a liar.  I admit it.  In my last posting several eons ago, I made a solemn promise to you that I would be back soon…  and then subsequently fell off the blogging band wagon entirely.  It has been far too long since I’ve last checked in, though to my infinite surprise, that has not been true of my readers.  So a big “Thanks!” goes out to the new people who have joined in the fun and the “old” people who are still lurking around.  I hope you have enjoyed the ride!

And despite some bumps and bruises, I am declaring the Novel Experience Experiment a success.  Yes, I stopped writing, and clearly that is a pesky detail that creates a dark cloud over the experiment as a whole.  However, while largely undocumented, my pursuit of novelty has continued throughout the prescribed year and then well beyond to the present day. 

So what happened to this blog, you might ask?  Well, I think it is fair to say that I was a victim of my own success.  The more novel experiences I got under my belt, the fuller my life became.  On the one hand, this is fabulous.  On the other, when you add a new business or hobby or responsibility, (or all of the above), to your already full plate that includes an existing business, toddler and new baby, some of the less novel activities have a tendency to slide.  And that, dear readers, became the sad fate of this blog.

But let’s not get stuck on the negatives!  It’s such a depressing place to reside when there are such positive outcomes to behold!  Because, in my humble opinion, the answer to whether or not novelty can lead to greater happiness and life satisfaction has been a resounding YES!  Yes, I am a novelty seeker, and therefore more apt to enjoy this type of thing.  But the feedback I received from the readers who chose to take part in the project backs up what I myself have found to be true.  Consciously creating novelty in your life leads to greater life satisfaction!  So, here is my own anecdotal report about the benefits of novelty:

1.     Stimulant for my brain:  I don’t know about you, but if I let my brain become too idle it finds things to take up time and space.  And usually these “filler thoughts” aren’t super fun or positive.  Some are neutral – like my grocery list and the awareness that I need to buy more socks.  But lots of the free space in my brain tends to get filled up with unnecessary worries; mostly about things that are out of my control.  Not a good use of my time or energy!  The more novel experiences I had, the more fun stuff I had to think about and the less room there was for ruminating on the negative or troublesome.

2.  Salve for my Impending Midlife Crisis:  Which leads me to my existential angst.  I’m becoming frighteningly old.  Despite the fact that I still feel like I am in my mid-twenties, my mirror and my calendar regularly tell me otherwise.  This fact, when dwelled upon, frightens me and prompts the emergence of this nagging little voice that reminds me that I’m not living my life to the fullest.  The most unexpected result of this project was the quieting of “The Voice.”  The more novel experiences I had, the less I felt as though I was missing out on something.  Or that life was passing me by.  Because I wasn’t and it wasn’t.  This was partially because…

3. Antidote to Procrastination:  …the experiment forced me to stop procrastinating.  I’ve spent years contemplating joining the CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) movement, and purchasing a farm share.  Last Autumn, in the interest of novelty seeking, I finally did it!  This exposed me to a whole world of novelty in the form of vegetables, food, and cooking experiences.   For instance, did you know that brussel sprouts grow on a stalk?  Neither did I!

How many times do you find yourself thinking, “I should do that… someday...”  How often do these intentions get swept away by the routines and responsibilities of daily life?  This experiment prompted me to start walking down some of my previously identified pathways, and the results have been wonderful!  I’ve started a new business, streamlined my work, found new hobbies and past times, and exposed my children to lots of learning and experiences.  It’s been awesome!  My world has opened up and has led to the …

4.      Expanding of My Comfort Zone:  When I started this experiment, I had a very well defined comfort zone from which I infrequently ventured beyond.  As I added novel experiences to my repertoire, my comfort zone increased ten-fold and I became well practiced at being a beginner once again.  It was as though I had been wearing a mask that limited my vision.  Suddenly, it was lifted and I could see all the possibilities that the world was laying at my feet.  Things that other people did became options that I could use to fulfill my commitment to novelty.  My confidence increased and my anxiety decreased as my comfort zone opened up around me.

So whether I’ve taken a class in stand up paddle boarding or have consumed chocolate covered bacon the experiences have led to many positive memories and a great deal of fun!  I think each one of us can benefit from increasing the novelty in our lives, but there are certain guidelines I have discovered to keep things fun.  Stay tuned for Part Two, where I shall present my “Observations about Novelty.”  I know…  I know…  I’ve said that I’ll be back before and look where that got us!  So, Dear Reader, let’s consider this to be a trust building exercise…  Like a trust fall without the risk to your physical integrity….  And that falling part…  Cuz I’m still not going to be jumping out of an airplane anytime soon!  (To be continued…)

Day... (Lord only knows!): I'm Back!

Hello, Dear Readers!  You might remember me?  I'm the woman who used to write a daily blog about novel experiences?  Well, I'm back and ready to get back in the game.

You may have wondered what happened to me? Did my computer spontaneously combust?  Did my tequila shot experience lead me down the path of raging alcoholism?   Did I fall off the novelty band wagon? Did the novelty of this experiment wear off?  The answer to all of these questions is a resounding "No!"  I'm very happy to report that the Novel Experience Experiment is alive and well, despite the lack of blog postings.  What did, in fact, happen since my last posting was that I became buried by the depth and breadth of my novel experiences. 

As a result, Dear Readers, I've learned some important novelty-related lessons.  First and foremost, too much novelty can be ungrounding.  Since my last blog post, I have faced the following changes/novel experiences:

1.  Ended my maternity leave and returned to my private psychotherapy practice

2.  Started a new business with two colleagues

3.  Put my home on the market

4.  Searched, and searched, and searched for a new home

5.  Had a cancer scare

6.  Watched my daughter develop new skills at break-neck speed

Each of these situations has provided me with a plethora of novel experiences.  Each of these situations has also had the potential of transforming the very fabric of my day to day existence, which, at times, has put me on Novel Experience Overload.  While I have had some very fun novel experiences since my last posting, a good number of these experiences have been stressful.

Add in the fact that my daughter finally, (FINALLY!!!), started falling asleep around the same time as my son, my late night blogging was replaced with luxurious and much needed hours of sleep.  And, as I became more and more overwhelmed by the novelty in my life, I had less and less motivation to spend my free time writing about it, and increasing amounts of motivation to SLEEP.

When Season 1 of Glee was added to Netflix's streaming offerings, I was pushed completely over the edge.  The sweet escapism was too much for me to resist!  Forty-four episodes of Glee later, (and a novel experience with a roku player and Hulu Plus), and I'm finally back.  Realistically, writing a blog posting a day just isn't going to happen.  My little life is now far too hectic for that kind of pace!  However, I have missed my blog and I want to reconnect.  So I think I can commit to one blog posting a week.  My new-found Arrested Development addiction will have to take a back seat.

So, hello again!  And I'll talk with you again real soon!  Promise!

Day Fifty-One: Tequila...

Perhaps I am strange...  But I find that I am ever so slightly embarrassed about today's novel experience.  My embarrassment spans multiple levels.  First, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that today's experience was novel! I guess I am somewhat afraid that you, dear reader, will wrongly assume that I have lived under some sort of repressed rock.

However, at the same time, I am a little embarrassed that in this uber responsible, mother of two children, business woman/professional, older than dirt stage of life, I was taking part in these shenanigans!  OK.  Truth time...  I guess my embarrassment is not so much that I took part, as much as that I am about to admit to it publicly!  But here goes...

For today's novel experience I did a tequila shot!  I am not sure how I made it through college having completely avoided this rite of passage, but I did.  It's not that I didn't drink socially when I was younger, it's just that I'm not really the shot type.  I'd much rather savor a nice glass of wine or enjoy a frilly, girlie drink than pound back the hard stuff.  And, truth be told, the whole ritual just seemed too damn complicated for me.  And then, as I aged, it seemed less and less appropriate to try it...

But, when discussing novel experience possibilities with a group of close friends, it was brought to their attention that I had never done a tequila shot.  And then, unbeknownst to me, the secret planning began.  And then next thing I knew, I was standing before a shot glass, salt shaker, and lemon being coached on when and what to lick and suck by my husband and some of my closest friends.  

Now alcohol and novelty seekers have a conflicted relationship to say the least.  In my research, I've come across articles stating that novelty seekers are especially prone to alcoholism, particularly if they are at all sugar sensitive.  I think it is probably clear to you from my multiple dessert related posts, dear reader, that I am both.  Thankfully, while I will enjoy a drink from time to time, I've somehow avoided this pitfall.  But it is worth mentioning here, that the relationship between drinking and novelty seeking has been explored and it isn't pretty!

So the verdict...  I think I would chalk the actual experience up to "been there, done that."  My life has not been profoundly changed for having had a tequila shot and (thankfully) I have not become inspired to partake in this activity everyday!  At the same time, if it hadn't been for this experiment I probably never would have had this experience as I had previously determined that my window of opportunity had closed.  In a sense, this experiment opened the window and gave me an excuse to revisit my (lost) youth.  And, in a strange way, I'm very glad for this.  I had let the psychological confines of my age limit what I perceived as my opportunities.  The phrase, "I'm too old" had snuck into my vocabulary.  And every time I had this thought, I found these false limitations to be incredibly depressing.  

So, tequila shot, thank you for stopping me from limiting myself due to my age.   As silly as this experience was, a profound lesson was learned, and I will be taking this one with me for a long time to come!

Day Fifty: My Completely and Totally Failed Attempt at Growing Sugar Crystals...

The title really says it all, here...  Not only was this an attempt at a novel experience, but it was a novel experience as it is my first, utter and complete, failure.  

I first was inspired to try this project after doing a Google search for projects that use Borax.  (Don't ask...  and anyway, I am sure you will find out why soon enough!)  From this search I learned that you can grow crystals with Borax!  I thought that this would be a really cool novel experience to do with Liam...  Until I did further research and discovered that Borax is toxic!  However, at this point it was too late.  I was fixated and dead set on finding a way to try to grow (non-toxic) crystals!

I then learned that you can do, (more or less), the same process with salt or sugar.  Being the little sugar addict that I am, the decision was clear!  So I boiled my water, saturated it with sugar, and immersed my eyelash yarn, (a fancy suggestions found here).  Then I waited....  and waited...  and waited for my sugar crystals to form.

And here you have it!  The end result of my experiment!  If you clicked on the link above, you can see a picture of what I had expected to find at the end of my project.  I think mine is prettier, don't you!  OK.  Fine.  It looks a bit like a drowned rat.  I admit it.  There's not a crystal in sight.  

Surprisingly, though, I had fun with this!  The simplicity of following simple directions.  Stirring in sugar until it pooled at the bottom.  The anticipated of the end result.  All of these things were fun for me.  Which just goes to show that true happiness can be found not in the end result or destination, but in how we approach the journey.  

Day Forty-Nine: I Do My Best Pirate!

I present to you the following blog post, which stands as a warning to all of my novelty seeking readers about what can happen when you leave your novel experience until the end of the day and have absolutely nothing planned to pull out at the last minute.  This is also a cautionary tale about peer pressure. 

It was another busy, sometimes frantic, day in which I attempted, unsuccessfully at times, to meet the needs of my very small children, my household, and myself.  I find that motherhood, for me at least, often resembles the work of a triage nurse:  you assess the level of the crisis, prioritize, and then follow through in order of importance and urgency.  My children's basic needs and happiness come before everything else, and some days it feels like that's where all my time is focused...  Thus, leading to the seemingly never-ending backlog of tasks of lesser importance that need to be addressed when there is a rare free moment!  But it is my internal list of priorities that gives some semblance of structure to my days.  As a result, this novelty experiment, which is, of course, a lower priority than the needs of my children, can get pushed off until  they are safely tucked in bed.  And then the race against the clock begins!

Tonight, my best friend, Angela was over so I decided to employ her as the generator of novel experience ideas for the evening.  So, of course, she suggested something really easy.  "You need to Google search Guinness Book of World Records," she said with authority.  "Dare I ask why," I replied.  "Just do it.  Trust me."  

So, like the obedient woman that I am, I typed in the search parameters and pulled up the website.  "Now you're going to break a world record," exclaimed Angela.  Oh.  Of course!  What else would I do with barely two hours to dedicate to a task?  Doesn't everybody set out to beat a world record when they have a few moments of free time?  

Shockingly, it became abundantly clear that this was not a realistic goal.  However, the website did provide endless amounts of amusement with some inspiration mixed in to boot!  As we perused long lists of the fastest, tallest, widest and smallest, Angela became excited about a listing for the most people dancing the Bharatnatyam, an Indian dance form, and decided that learning this dance was going to be my novel experience for the evening.

But here's the part where I put a damper on Angela's enthusiasm...  A quick search of the internet confirmed my darkest suspicions...  I've actually danced the Bharatnatyam before.  Seriously, what are the odds that this WOULDN'T be a novel experience?  But when I was at a welcome reception in India in 1995, a group of us went up on the stage to learn how to dance the Bharatnatyam with the performers...  I hadn't been able to remember the name of the dance, but the description gelled with my memory of the experience.  So it was back to the drawing board.

The good news, here, is that it was at this point that we became inspired to do random searches on YouTube.  A simple search for "how to" led me to the novel experience of the night...  Though I initially protested that this was a cop out, I was eventually peer pressured to participate.  And, while laughing to the point of tears, I did, in fact, practice like a good little student, thus alleviating my concern that this should not count.  Are you ready?

Yup...  This is how I ended up spending my night.  I do feel that my new bilingual status will help me in life in the long run so I am very grateful to Angela for convincing me of the worthwhileness of this novel experience.  I mean, just check out my mad pirate-speaking skills:

"Arrrr...  This sharp-tongued wench be tired.  I gunna be sleepin."

So, on that note, I will wish you all a goodnight, and will now retire to my bed to dream of plunderin' and booty, (of the pirate variety!)  

Day Forty-Eight: Mainers, Massholes, and Mangoes

For those of you who have not visited, Maine is, in many ways, an idyllic place to live.  With its endless coastlines, beautiful mountains, and quaint villages it's really a perfect place to raise a family.  And Mainers are acutely aware of their assets and fiercely proud of their state and their roots.  As a person of Scottish heritage, I liken Mainers to the Scots:  Rugged, proud, and rather disdainful of their neighbor to the South!  

My husband and best friend are both Maine natives.  This puts them into the elite class of Mainers and affords them acceptance without question throughout the state.  I, on the other hand, am the sworn enemy of the native Mainer.  I am from Massachusetts...  or, as we are referred to locally, I am a "Masshole."  

I can remember my husband's disappointment when he discovered my heritage on our first date.  At the time, I thought he was teasing when he exclaimed, "But I thought you were a nice New Hampshire girl!"  I now know better.  As far as my husband is concerned, my Masshole status is a secret that must be protected and a shame to his family.  At business dinners he has frequently told people that I am from New Hampshire.  You see, to the native Mainer, New Hampshire is a huge step up from Massachusetts...  A step up, but believe you me, it is still not Maine!    Maine is the way life should be!

Now, while we do live within the borders of the Great State of Maine, we happen to live quite close to my old stomping ground in New Hampshire.  On occasion, we will even leave utopia so that I can meet my long standing need to "live free or die."  You see, while I was born in Massachusetts, my heart is in the seacoast area of New Hampshire.  

In the later months of my pregnancies, these ventures south became a risky business.  To my husband, it was paramount that his children be born in Maine so that he could bestow native status on them, thus negating the blight of their Masshole mother.  Therefore, if I happened to go into labor while "away," his plan was to drive me over the border to ensure that his children receive their birthright.  In the final weeks of my pregnancy with our son, we needed to run an errand in Massachusetts.  As we crossed into "enemy territory," I remember requiring my husband to give me a verbal contract that he would take me to the NEAREST HOSPITAL if I were to go into labor, which, after hemming and hawing, he agreed to.  Thankfully, we were safely back in Maine before my water broke twelve hours later, and twenty-three hours from that point, our son officially became a native!

As an outsider in a family of natives, I've been able to observe the Native Mainers within their own habitats, and I've made some striking discoveries.  They can crack a lobster like nobody's business, a good majority really do answer questions with "ayuh," and they seem to be immune to the cold.  It is not unusual to see a Native Mainer in a t-shirt in below freezing weather, and shorts are often broken out as soon as the temperature hits a balmy 40 degrees.

It is the tolerance to cold that sets me most apart from the Native Mainer.  While I would be very happy moving down to Costa Rica and living in the glorious, tropical heat and humidity for the rest of my days, my husband lives for April snowstorms.  Crazy!

Which brings me to the novel experience of the day...  The weather today was cold, wet, and miserable, as it often can be this time of year and I was busy feeling sorry for myself while my husband celebrated.  In a futile attempt to cope, I pulled out all the stops...  I listened to Caliente on my satellite radio...  I turned up the heat...  I drank hot beverages and snuggled under blankets... but nothing was working.  The reality of the weather proved to be too much.  Just when I was about to give up hope, I remembered that I had bought myself a tropical treat at the store:  Orange MANGO juice.  

Nothing says tropical weather, monkeys swinging by in trees, and a very happy Christy like a mango!  While it did not take the cold away, it did remind me that sunnier days are coming and gave just the shot in the arm that we Massholes need when living outside of our natural habitat.

Novel Experience Day Forty-Eight: Sweating to the Oldies!

Dear Reader,

I am at a loss.  Just how does one start a blog posting that has anything to do with Richard Simmons?  Particularly, when it is about your attempt to do Sweating to the Oldies 4 with your 2 year-old son?  I guess the only choice I have is to start from the beginning, which takes us back to week one of this project.

During my first week of novel experiences, I spent a great deal of time fending off my fear of starting this experiment and failing...  completely, utterly, and publicly.  I had doubts about being able to identify 365 new experiences, when I've tried so many things in my lifetime already.  I also had doubts about my ability to maintain the myriad other responsibilities and commitments in my life while adding another, sometimes time consuming and challenging, task to the seemingly never ending to-do list.  Of course, I told myself, if it gets to be too much I can always just quit...  

Right.  However, there is one major, characterological flaw with this line of thought:  I am stubborn.  I often tell my clients that stubbornness can be a very good quality - if you direct it toward the right things, like attaining a goal, finishing a health-promoting project, or carrying out an important responsibility to its completion.  And I whole-heartedly believe this to be true.  However, in my case I am, perhaps to a pathological degree, not a quitter.  If I make a commitment, I will follow through, sometimes at high personal cost, to the absolute bitter end.  Knowing this about myself, I try very hard NOT to commit to anything that could be negative or push my life out of balance.  So while, of course, I could always back out of this experiment if it gets to be too much, I knew that if I publicly committed to starting it, I would feel compelled to see it to its completion at almost any cost.  

Note my use of the word "almost."  The major exceptions here are my children.  While I have many other responsibilities in my life, my commitment to my two little munchkins trumps everything else I have going on.  I felt certain that I would choose to quit if the experiment had a negative impact on them.  And while this is positive in many regards, this brings us right back to the fear I had of completely, utterly, and publicly failing.  

Which also brings us back to Richard Simmons!  While I went around in mental circles, knowing that I needed a project such as this one to fill a gap in my life, but fearing the possible negative consequences of committing, I decided to take a jaunt down to my basement and go on a hunt for future novel experiences.  Now, if you have been a faithful reader from early on, you might remember me talking about my basement?  And also about my mother, the fellow novelty seeker, who undoubtedly passed this propensity down to me?  (If not, you may wish to click here before reading on so that you can be up to speed on both matters!)  Well, doing just a little digging I found that I somehow owned a copy of Sweating to the Oldies 4 on VHS!  (Of course.  Doesn't everyone have this lurking in their basement somewhere?!)  So I brought this little gem upstairs and tucked it away for some future cheesy novelty fun.  

It took more than a month, but today I decided to pop this tape in and experience a Richard Simmons workout first hand.  After fast forwarding through all of the advertisements and previews this is what I got:

What a disappointment!  To think that I was given the precious gift of a used Richard Simmon's Sweating to the Oldies VHS tape, and it ends up being broken!  I had a vague memory from my childhood about a tracking adjustment on old VCR's, but my newfangled version does not appear to have one.  However, all was not lost.  Despite the picture, I could clearly hear the song "Shout," with Richard touting the importance of giving ourselves daily hugs.  I also, through the interference, could make out the basics of the dance moves.  So, as I had looked forward to this novel experience for a while now, my stubbornness kicked in and I decided to give it a shot regardless.  By the time the first song was complete, Liam was chanting "No, 'Shout!'  No dance!"  He clearly had had his fill of Richard Simmons.  And, although my original intention had been to complete the entire workout, I allowed my toddler to temper my resistance to quitting and shut the television off.  Clearly, there is much to learn from a two year-old!  

It's time for me to sign off and say "goodnight."  Don't forget to hug yourself today!

Christy