Day Twenty-Four: From Trash to Treasure...

For as long as I can remember, I have been a seeker of "things"...  As a child, no matter what setting I was in, it seemed there was something for me to find.  At my grandparents' house in Michigan it was fossils;  At our summer house in New Hampshire it was frogs and salamanders.  At my own house it was hide and seek with my neighborhood friends.  And at the beach it was seashells and sea glass.

Today, as I continue to seek out novel experiences it strikes me that things have not changed all that much.   Though the things I seek out are sometimes different, I am still a seeker at heart.  And so, it seems, is my son...  

In a sunshine inspired moment, I decided to take my son and daughter to the beach by myself today.  So after strapping my daughter into the front pack, I let Liam run.

After realizing that seeking seagulls to bring home is a futile act, he turned his attention to the ground and started handing me his treasures:  a rock, litter, seaweed, a clump of sand, a shell, and some sea glass...

While I have given up many of my childhood collections, there are still few activities I enjoy more than walking on the beach looking for sea glass.  There's something about a piece of trash, thrown into the ocean by a careless hand, that comes back to shore all smooth, polished and gorgeous from its time in the sea, that inspires me.  I love the transformation sea glass must go through, from trash to treasure, and it's become a metaphor for the perseverance and resilience of my clients, my loved ones, and myself.  I keep bowls of sea glass in my office as a reminder that we can make something positive come out of the negative things that happen in our lives.  There's a saying that's oft repeated in the therapy world that when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade.  Apparently, when humans hand the sea their trash, it makes sea glass.  

I left the beach with my son's treasures in tow and, when I was later emptying my pockets, was inspired to find a novel experience that could utilize these found items - in particular the sea glass.  My many walks on the beach have led to quite the stash of sea glass sitting in ziplock bags in my aforementioned basement so I had no lack of materials to work with.  As is my habit, I turned to the internet for inspiration and found my idea for the day:  wire wrapped sea glass pendants.

While I did not have the perfect tools to work with, I had some left over wire, wire cutters, basic pliers, and enough sea glass to make thousands of pendants.

After finishing my first sea glass pendant, I found that I was hooked!  I think I may have found a new hobby!

So in closing, I am struck once again by Temple Grandin's theory that all human beings have a need to seek.  Whether a person is a novelty seeker or not, I wonder if we all are happiest when we are actively searching for something.  Or perhaps, at the most basic level, whether we are looking for sea glass or looking for novelty, we are actually seeking out happiness.

Day Five: Strawberry Cake and Haiku

Today I felt energized to do something completely outside of my normal realm of experience.  As I find my life becoming more and more oriented to this project, I start each day with an idea of what I'd like to do the most.  So far, I think I've managed to implement my plan, um...  exactly Zero times. 

It's not, (usually), because I am fickle... Or unmotivated... Or lazy...  It's more that my life isn't really set up to be doing something like this.  I'm no Paris Hilton.  You won't find me jetsetting around the world with unlimited funds and time on my hands.  Instead, I'm the mother of a newborn and toddler.  I typically run a private, one-woman psychotherapy practice and work 30+ hours a week, (and will be returning to this schedule before I know it.)  And, right now, without my income, our family's funds are incredibly tight. 

Rule number one of this project is to have a completely novel experience everyday.  However, rule number two is to do this in such a way that my family's needs are never compromised.  So, while I typically start my day with a plan for creating novelty, I invariably end up finding myself on the mommy treadmill:  changing diapers, kissing boo-boos, nursing infants, and soothing toddlers to sleep.  And I love every minute of it!  However, to maintain my, (high), standards for myself as a mother, I am finding that flexibility is key to the sucess of this project.  Hold that thought...  I need to find my daughter's pacifier.

Ok...  As I was saying...  Flexibility...  At this point in the project I now have a mental list of options that I carry around with me.  Some are time consuming, some can be fit into a few minutes.  Some can be done right away, some take preparation.  Some can include other people, and others need to be done when I am alone.  And some just arise naturally and unexpectedly as I go about my life.  But thankfully, I usually feel like I have a plan B when my plan A invariably goes south.  While I hope to eventually have some more extravagent novel experiences in the future, right now, I hope my limitations can actually show my readers that finding novelty can happen within any lifestyle, schedule, or income level.

That being said, my plan for today once again needed to be put on hold and the day was drawing to an end.  A birthday celebration for a family member did unexpectedly lead to a novel experience:  Strawberry cake with strawberry frosting!  And it was delicious.  But while I technically had my novel experience covered for the day, I felt that using food once again was a bit of a cop out.  As we drove home that evening, my husband asked me if he could come up with another novel experience for me to do today, and offered to do bedtime solo so that I could do it.  I tentatively agreed, reserving the right to veto if necessary, and was surprised when he suggested that I...  write a haiku poem for each of our children...  Seriously?!  Where did that come from?!

than I had thought.  A season must be selected, imagery must be included, there must be a contrast made, and all must be done within a mere 17 syllables.  So I set to work, and here's what I came up with:

A quick google search proved that there was much more to writing a haiku

Liam

On a clear, still day
He is glimmering sunshine
that lights up the world.

Gracie

The snow falls softly
she is warm tranquility,
by rushing waters



It's probably not perfect, but I'm actually kind of pleased with the results and had fun doing this.  I'm thinking I might even make something crafty for my children using each of their poems... but that's for another day!       

Day Four: Ravioli Improves the Moment - Again!

After yesterday's success under pressure, I awoke feeling much more confident about my ability to manage this project.  If I could pull out a, (actually pretty cool if I do say so myself), novel experience with all of the limitations I had had the day before, a normal day should be a piece of cake!  With the sun shining through my bedroom window, I began to get excited about all of the possibilities for novelty this day might bring.  After all, I was actually going to be able to leave the house! 

As I lay in bed anticipating my upcoming day, I could tell that this project had already changed me in subtle ways.  I faced my day with a level of energy and sense of adventure that I hadn't been able to access for quite some time. So after making sure that the family was rested, fed, and dressed, we set out for a drive to the local beach.

The beach was gorgeous, as usual, and, with the chilly February temperatures it was virtually empty.  Now I am a warm weather, high humidity kind of person.  Why I've chosen to live in New England for my entire life is a mystery that I try to unravel on a daily basis throughout these long, cold, dark months.  So, when I found myself offering to take my toddler for a short jaunt on the beach despite the frigid temperature, it was clear to me that something about me was a little off.  In my quest to experience novelty, I had started to adopt an attitude of both seeking and taking opportunities, novel or not, and I was reaping the rewards of this new approach to life! 

As I watched my son pick up shells, I started to think about the concept of "Improving the Moment" that comes from Marsha Linehan's brilliant work with Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  (And... FYI... This is not poetic license.  I actually had this thought at the beach...  Again, did I mention that I am a total nerd?!)  The idea is that if people take the effort to do little things that make an experience more poignant, enjoyable, and/or meaningful, they will be less likely to experience depression.  For instance, the decision to light candles and play soft music during a dinner improves the experience of that meal, (and perhaps your chances of getting lucky afterwards!)  In this situation, the concept could be better applied to my choice to put on a warm hat while outside.  However, the moment when I made the choice to leave the car, and other moments when I took maximum advantage of the opportunities presented to me, had improved my day immensely.

With this moment improving mindset firmly in place, I quickly agreed to stop for lunch at one of our favorite restaurants.  With all of the focus on novelty, going to a familiar family haunt would be a welcome break.  Little did I know that this day's best opportunity for novelty would arise in a place where I've sat in every booth and know the menu by heart!  Come to find out, in our postpartum absence, the restaurant had created a specials menu just for the month of February.  And there, on that menu, was an opportunity that was simply too good to pass by.

Yes.  Your eyes do not deceive you!  For the second time this week I am having a novel experience with ravioli. This time, however, the ravioli was found on the dessert menu:  Fried pumpkin ravioli served hot with cinammon sugar and butter pecan ice cream!  Ravioli as a DESSERT!  As I had just had ravioli with fruit as an entree two days before, I briefly considered letting this opportunity slide.  But the menu was expiring in a few days.  It was now or never, and how could I pass up something that was just so...  well...  novel!  So, foregoing the chocolate lava cake, we ordered the ravioli dessert with three spoons.  And...  it was no chocolate lava cake, but it was pretty darn good! 

So today was all about doing unusual things in my usual places.  The time spent on the beach was in no way novel, but I'm finding that there's a novelty-seeking spirit that makes everything I do feel more like an adventure.  It's only day four, but I feel like I'm embarking on a life-altering journey and I'm excited to see where it takes me.

Day One - Auspicious Beginnings!

It all started with trashy TV night... I suppose this is not the most glamorous way to receive life-altering messages from the universe, however there is no way to sugar coat the truth here. My best friend, Angela and I were curled up on the couch, eating Ben and Jerry's directly from the carton, and were watching... well... OK... we were watching a reality television show about a Playboy bunny.

Let me redeem myself for a moment by letting you know that in my normal life I don't even have a subscription to cable, let alone a reality television addiction. My husband and I cancelled our service after the birth of our son, and it's been almost two years since we've had easy access to this quality of television programming. However, there I was at our mutual friend's house taking advantage of her premium cable subscription while she was out of town doing work for her educational nonprofit in an economically disadvantaged country. She was saving the world, we were watching trashy television.

In much the same way that people read Playboy for the articles, it was the storyline that captured our interest and kept us watching. One of the characters was having panic attacks and subsequently decided to comparison shop for a psychotherapist. I just happen to be a psychotherapist who specializes in treating panic attacks, (among other things), so we settled in to see what these therapists would say and do. While we were critiquing our colleagues, a brief shift of the camera caught a sign hanging up in one of the therapist's offices that stated, "What would you do if you were guaranteed not to fail?" And without realizing it at the time, this question led to a line of thinking and chain of events that has culminated in the launching of this project and blog.

What would you do if you were guaranteed not to fail? This question stuck with me for days... I statused about it on Facebook... I had conversations about it with family and friends... I posted it on my business page... and I thought about how I would answer it for myself. I knew what I would do if I was guaranteed success. Answering this question was the easy part for me. It was the question that logically followed that started to haunt me: WHY THE HECK DO YOU NEED TO BE GUARANTEED SUCCESS TO GIVE IT A TRY?

So here I sit, launching the Novel Experience Experiment. For a variety of psychological and personal reasons that I'm sure I'll get into in the future, I am taking on the challenge of exposing myself to, (at least), one brand new experience a day for the next year and will be documenting my activities on this blog. (And, by the way, creating this blog for the sake of blogging rather than business, is the first of 365 novel experiences I will be having!) I look forward to the challenges ahead and hope that you will consider joining me on this journey!